Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
When did angry sex become our thing?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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