I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
