FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
