He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize