I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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