If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Just pee around me
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
