i may or may not be watching the land before time
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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