I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
