Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
