I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
