is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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