youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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