I puked a lego.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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