Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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