With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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