it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
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