Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
