There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize