This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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