alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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