Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
