There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
