well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
