He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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