Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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