But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
