I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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