I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
