So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
