I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
