Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
should my penis look like a turkey
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
