My room smells like vodka and shame
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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