When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I cut my penus on the lid.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
