seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
