I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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