He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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