My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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