There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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