Your tits are I can't wait for
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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