So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Randomize
