it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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