dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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