Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize