I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Randomize
