i may or may not be watching the land before time
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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