I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
