I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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