After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
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