Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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