Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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