can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
