she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
