im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
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