You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
