I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
