why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
