My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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