Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
